I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
