quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
