I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
