I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
