her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
