Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
