this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Come on in and take your pants off
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