She said her name was "party"
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
