My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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