we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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