Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
