what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
