dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We need to get me chipped asap
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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