How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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