My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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