So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
