That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
