is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
