I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
