before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
