Everything about him screamed your future.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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