he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
