I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
