32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
