You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
