ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
