How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
there is glitter all over my balls
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize