I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he thought i was a dude.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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