I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
