I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
