Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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