I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
