I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Randomize