that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I have aggressive nipples.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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