Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
