I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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