I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
