And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
