oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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