Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
