I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
