why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
