Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
