...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
