tonight lets celebrate not being married
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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