i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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