well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
