There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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