it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
