id be glad to
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
