Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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