i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
