you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize