They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
