If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
