he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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