I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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