Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize