you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
