There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize