Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
