should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
