Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
