You just made me feel so damn special
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
