do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
