Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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