Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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