Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
