Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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