His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize