How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
being pregnant is like rehab
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
