you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
