i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
