I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
