So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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